Deuce of Clubs Book Club: Books of the Weak

To Deuce of Clubs index page

I'm a Lebowski, You're a Lebowski

Guy Debord: Revolutionary

No Place to Hide

Command of Office

The Christ-Myth Theory And Its Problems

The Christian Delusion

Lincoln's Wrath

How to Do Nothing with Nobody All Alone by Yourself

The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex


Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

Catching the Big Fish

Dig Infinity

The True Adventures of the Rolling Stones

Crazy for God

Basin and Range

Anarchy Evolution

The File

John Ringo

The Supremes

End the Fed

Burning Book

The Hohokam Millenium

God's Middle Finger


In Heaven Everything Is Fine

The Shunning

Wisdom Sits in Places

The Marvelous Country

Hamilton's Curse

The Secret Life of Houdini

The Trouble with Being Born

Schulz and Peanuts

First Into Nagasaki

Joe Miller's Jests

Human Smoke

Dirty Tricks Cops Use

A Futile and Stupid Gesture

All For A Few Perfect Waves


Death in the Desert

American Signs

Secret Proceedings and Debates of the Constitutional Convention

Secrets Of A Stingy Scoundrel

The Self-Made Tapestry

A Constitutional History of Secession

The Neurotic's Notebook

Interrogation Machine

Monster Midway

The Harlot by the Side of the Road

Forced Into Glory

Imperial Life in the Emerald City

J. G. Ballard: Quotes

The Compleat Practical Joker

Laugh with Hugh Troy


A Liar's Autobiography


Chasing Rainbows

Letters from Tucson, 1925-1927

The Five Fosters

The Giant Cactus Forest and Its World

How to Cheat Your Friends at Poker

World Famous Cults & Fanatics

That's Not All, Folks!

God's Problem

Will Christ Return By 1988?

Fragments of an Anarchist Anthropology

The Whiskey Rebellion

FDR's Folly

Wilson's War

Bully Boy

[If] I Did It

The Dark Side

Secret Origins of the Bible


The End of Faith

Why I Became An Atheist

"Life's Calendar for 1922"

Churchill, Hitler, and the Unnecessary War

The Negro Cowboys


Monty Python Speaks

Baseball Between the Numbers

The Psychopath's Bible


J. G. Ballard: Conversations

Days of War, Nights of Love

Gospel Fictions and Who Wrote the Gospels?

The Real Deadwood


The Revolution: A Manifesto


The Secret Man

Stormin' Mormon

From Psyche to Soma

I'll Gather My Geese

The Osama bin Laden I Know

Alias "Paine"

A Man Without Words

The Wild Trees

The World Without Us

Arizona's Changing Rivers

The Phoenix Indian School

Realm of the Long Eyes

John Dillinger: The Life and Death of America's First Celebrity Criminal

Buckey O'Neill: The Story of a Rough Rider

Thanks For Tuning In

Adventures in the Apache Country

Waylon: An Autobiography

My Life: Sunrise to Sunset

Mimes and Miners: A Historical Study of the Theater in Tombstone

The First 100 Years: A History of Arizona Blacks

Enter Without Knocking

City in the Sun: The Japanese Concentration Camp at Poston, Arizona

House by the Buckeye Road

Vanished Arizona

The Big Con

The Astronomy Cafe and Back to the Astronomy Cafe

A Handbook on Hanging

The Sinner's Guide to the Evangelical Right

A Mind Restored

Mr. Show: What Happened?!

Reclaiming the American Revolution

Stumbling On Happiness

Treasure Maps of the Superstitions

Sunny Slope

Did Genesis Man Conquer Space?

Look Homeward, America

Radicals for Capitalism

Kayaker's Little Book of Wisdom

God Is Not Great

The Echoing Green

The Secret Life of the Lonely Doll

K Foundation Burn a Million Quid

The Facts of Life and Other Dirty Jokes and The Tao of Willie

Just Six Numbers and Our Cosmic Habitat

Wild Goose Chronicles

Behind Bars: Surviving Prison

Silent Night: The Story of the World War I Christmas Truce

The Gang They Couldn't Catch


A History of the End of the World

Al Sieber: Chief of Scouts

Apaches & Longhorns

Deep Survival




Bo: Pitching & Wooing

You Are Worthless

You And Your Hand

Access All Areas

Field Guide to the Apocalypse

The War on Terrorism

Those Idiots From Earth

September 11: An Oral History

Mortal Questions

The Heresy of Self-Love

The White Flag Principle

Medieval Panorama

An Honest President

Those Words

À rebours

Peterson's Incident Report Book

Boo! Culture, Experience, and the Startle Reflex

Victory Denied

Nothing, Arizona

A Porcine History of Philosophy and Religion

O Holy Cow!: The Selected Verse of Phil Rizzuto


¿Hablas conmigo

Thirty-three Candles

Black Monk Time

Men of Distinction

Alexander the Corrector

Space Viking

Mark These Men

Hallucinogenic Plants

Prohibition: An Adventure in Freedom

JESUS! He's Our President


How to Watch Football on Television

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

Lincoln: The Man and The Car

Whatever Men Know About Women

Biographies of Italian War Heroes

ABC of Espionage

Art Colony Perverts


Starting Right with Bees

Planet Earth is a Cult

Baseball Letters


Dopey Doings

Democracy: The God That Failed

Handgrenade Talk

Hi, How Are You?

het zingen van het ijs

The Museum of Jurassic Technology Jubilee Catalogue

The Rector and the Rogue

Colorful Cacti of the American Deserts

Odd Jobs: The World of Deviant Work

The Hungry Man's Outdoor Grill Cookbook

How to Get Invited to the White House

How to Work for a Jerk

Never Work for a Jerk!

The Mentality of Apes

Your Vigor for Life Appalls Me

Dr. Strange: Sorceror Supreme

Nautical Notions for Nibbling

A Short Introduction to the History of Human Stupidity

The Fake Revolt

Coup D'Etat

History of the Town of Felicity

Hood of Death

Dolls' House Bathrooms: Lots of Little Loos

Border Security / Anti-Infiltration Operations

Living on Light

God is for Real, Man

Did the Apostle Paul Visit Britain?

Twin Peaks


Power Phrases

The Truth About Wagner

The Life of the Bee


Science Looks at Smoking

The Chiricahuas

The New Dark Ages Conspiracy

The Big Question

Everybody's Book of Epitaphs

The Death of the Fuhrer


Gorbachev! Has the Real Antichrist Come?

The World's Worst Poet

Alyssa Milano: She's the Boss

Home is the Desert

Nine Lives: From Stripper to Schoolteacher

How to Start Your Own Country

How to Found Your Own Religion

Sex Objects in the Sky

Indian Oratory

Bastard Without Portfolio

The Bedside Book of Bastards

Hopeless -- Yet There Is Hope

Bible in Pocket, Gun in Hand

Margie Asks WHY

Death of a Hippie

Wake Up or Blow Up

Feeling and Form


A Mile in His Moccasins

Mojave Desert Ramblings

Passing of the Outhouse

This Way to Happiness

The Happy Life

Young Only Once

The Monkey Gland Affair

Bert Bacharach's Book for Men

The Two Babylons

For Good and Evil: The Impact of Taxes...

Why Christians Crack Up!

Why Do Christians Break Down?

Hava Nagila!

Beethoven or Bust

How to Abandon Ship

Livin' in Joe's World

The Last Democrat

Salvation Mountain

The Varmint and Crow Hunter's Bible

Love in the Western World

Jack the Ripper: Light-Hearted Friend

Little Men of the NFL

No One May Ever Have The Same Knowledge Again

The Secret Museum of Mankind

James Bond's World of Values

We Did Not Plummet Into Space

The Boy Who Didn't Believe IN CHRISTMAS

The Great Escape From Your Dead-End Job

All About Tipping

My Loser Godfrey

A Haircut in Horse Town

Mucusless Diet Healing System

Jefferson Returns

Lincoln Returns

Churchill Returns

Corporation Freak

Null Bock auf DDR

So You're Going on a Mission?

Nudes in My Camera

Why I Hate the Nazis

Flesh, Metal & Glass

The James Beard Cookbook

Mortal Refrains


Amy Grant: A Biography

The X Cars

We Were Five

Mr. Wilson's Cabinet of Wonder

Hello ... Wrong Number

I'll Kill You Next!

Murder in Vegas

Did MAN Just Happen?

Terror at the Atlanta Olympics

Criswell Predicts

Your Next Ten Years

They Pay Me to Catch Footballs

The Phantom Menace

Just For Fellows

The Lopsided Gal

Astrology and Horse Racing

The Cokesbury Stunt Book

The Origin of Things

Remarks on the History of Things

U.S. Government Sewing Book

Funeral Tributes II

Blinky, the Friendly Hen

The Serbs Choose War

My Mystery Castle


Funeral Customs the World Over

The Right to be Let Alone

Mormonism and the Negro

The Church and the Negro

Preacher with a Billy Club

Fighting Parson of the Old West

Invisibility: Mastering the Art of Vanishing

How to Disappear Completely

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies

How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man

Langenscheidts Konversationsbuch

Marlene Dietrich's ABC

The Bible in the Hands of Its Creators

The Psychopath's Bible

Christopher S. Hyatt (2000)


For years the market has been flooded with books filled with "sweetness and light." This is not one of them.
Most people will characterize this book as evil. malevolent, unprincipled, wicked and pessimistic. It is all of that—and worse.
It is an "evil" book with "evil" ideas. This is necessarily so because this book tells the truth. Truth is always characterized as "evil."
In some ways this is a book of social philosophy, in other ways it is a book of technique. Which it is for you may depend more on your attitude than anything else.
The average person will not even finish the Introduction. After a page or two most will put it down and return to the mush of the TV set. We recommend that you do so. This book is toxic! (9)

It is worth noting that some people have suggested that, because we have written about the violent psychopath, we are somehow encouraging such behavior. Nothing could be further from the truth! We wish to make it absolutely clear that we do not condone the initiation of violence to achieve any end, by anyone, at any time, in any place, in any way. For us, the fundamental rule of interpersonal behavior is that it is absolutely unacceptable to initiate violence under any circumstances. (17)

Conspiracy theories appear to appeal to and console the human ego which longs for meaning and purpose and hates to accept that most people really are incompetent. (17n)

This book was written to applaud, encourage and counsel the best among this wretched, sheeplike species called "man." It pulls no punches, it makes no apologies, it minces no words. It applauds the rare individual who writes his own song, plays his own tune and lives his own life. (22)

Like those who seek "enlightenment" we know that very few will "make it." As the wise man said, no more than 5% of you will get anything from it; the rest of you are food. If you dare to spit at the odds come ahead, but we advise against it. We suggest that you get rid of this book now before you are poisoned further. You have been warned. (24)

Numerous professional editors (i.e., for hire) have refused to assist in the editing of this book. I ask myself, why?
Their answer is that by participating in the publication of this book, they would be participating "in dimming the light of civilization." What they really mean is that they are horrified at the prospect of exposing the inherent hypocrisy of most human behavior. (27)

Of course, if I had labeled this book differently and had been indirect in what I said there would have been no problem. This, then, is the first lesson of this book: never say exactly what you mean if you want the cooperation of the coward. No matter how pathetic, everyone is looking out for their best interests. For most people their best interests consist of not being punished. Few play to win. They play to be safe while feeling morally superior to the winners. (27)

The Christian Judaic attempt to make a human out of man has failed. What has emerged are two things: 1. The Web Page (but no matter what one says the Web is still the home of the Spider) and 2. The Manipulator. He is the fetus who refused to abort.
He is about to happen to you. (28)

As you read this book, keep in mind that you are sharing the secrets of the great "bosses" and kings of all time and, while these secrets might offend you, they do control you. So my reader—read well. (29)

A Manipulator's task is to always throw a little something into the works. Learn how to help every one achieve what they want. It will, in the end, destroy them. (38)

Used properly, paranoia is an ideal weapon to create false and misleading struggles which burn the energy of everyone involved. Paranoia is a simple misdirection virus. (39)

Remember it is a natural tendency to be dark and self-destructive. The trick is to do it well—very well.
Help others get what they want. This is the most insidious form of destroying them. It makes them instantly terminal and, in most cases, useless. (44)

For, although people hate the thought of control, most wish to be controlled.
Risk, freedom and power are only words for them. Most are simply weak and cowardly, secretly waiting for some superior force to take them over. The proof is self-evident. Just look at the number of people who seek degrees in sociology and education. (46)

Discord is the politics of mobility.
The more mobile, the more discord you sow. However, it is wise to give the impression of stability and order. This keeps your enemies from controlling you. (47)

Every human life form is totally and completely occupied with itself.
Even if you appear to be the center of someone else's activities, it is still the person and his preoccupations which are the real center. Never forget this, no matter how interested someone seems in you.
They are interested in how you fit—or might fit—into their food chain. Never be fooled by people who sacrifice themselves for you. Without their so-called sacrifice, they would be isolated, depressed or feel utter emptiness. (58)

So, if you are strong enough, remember that no one really likes you. What they like is how you make them feel and how well you fit into their resource scheme. (59)

People are always keeping count of what they owe and what is owed to them. Few people are capable of simply taking without its finally having a devastating effect on their personality. However, there are some who are expert at it. (59)

If this is not bad enough, all humans have a collection of traumas and have learned to carry around a backpack of anxieties.
I have often said of the human that he suffers from an auto-immune disease. He desires oblivion while at the same time loathing the idea of losing control and his occasional feelings of integrity.
He can't tolerate his condition, but has no way out short of self-destruction. For man, life is a blind assembly line, Each person thinks he is free while secretly living out the fantasies of his DNA. (64)

One way of counteracting rebellious employees is to give them the opportunity to infantilize someone else or to act in some role of authority. At one time suggestion boxes served this function. However, employers must continually come up with other techniques because employees have a way of finding out how seriously they are taken.
Most people perform so poorly in the role of adult that they rarely get complete satisfaction from this process. They are so contaminated by their infantile roles that they overreact or underreact in the role of authority. The Toxick Magician is well aware of these failures and is aptly capable of taking advantage of them. (67)

One technique that the Toxick Magician uses is making something look harder than it is.
Universities constantly use this ploy and the longer people live the more difficult things will have to be made So, instead of taking three years to learn a skill which should have only taken one year, it will now take five years.
Making things look harder and taking more time allows for better indoctrination and control of the victim who wishes to have a better life for himself by getting the sanction of certain groups.
Most people want to be Certified by someone greater than themselves. The idea of having a life without some form of Certificate will become more and more terrifying as the beast becomes more complex and begins to fall apart. This is when the Manipulator begins to shine. He is always best at—"fall apart." (68)

The victim now becomes a true believer as the Toxick Magician manipulates the parameters of fear, failure, reward, punishment and success in just the right fashion.
He knows that people have no direct access to truth, nor do they have the ability to find out what truth is.
Instead they have religions, superstitions, degrees, certificates, test scores, badges, passports, licenses, and, of course, good old-fashioned ancestor worship.
These all have in common the worship of authority and power which the common man attempts to manipulate through gestures (i.e., obsessions), hopes, beliefs and structured living.
For example, she gets her college degree; gets married (which in turn unrolls an entire subset of additional obsessions such as making babies. attending school functions, arranging baptisms, buying houses and selecting furniture); getting a job (which provides its own subset of obsessions such as buying a car, being preoccupied with taxes, looking forward to holidays and vacations, attending office parties, working to improve social status, preparing for retirement); retirement (which brings preoccupation with diseases. leisure. and grandchildren); and—finally—death.
The truly funny thing about all of this is that each and every person thinks that he is deciding and controlling these activities intentionally and consciously and that they are unique in the history of the world.
In reality, anyone with an ounce of awareness knows that these activities are common, banal, trite, vacuous, insignificant, boring and ridiculous—and make for great sport for the Manipulator.
He will often make believe that he takes these things seriously as he disrupts these "unique" social patterns. (68-9)

The normal man can be defined by his repetitive routines. He takes vacations every year—some even take them at the same place every year. He performs certain behaviors and avoids others on certain days of the week. Humans only have a small set of events to look forward to. How many Christmases can you tolerate!!
If a man sat alone, bought nothing, did nothing but had the physical strength to act, he would either destroy himself or everything about him. The fact that we measure time linearly while, at the same time. the days repeat endlessly until we die attests to the reality of the human condition.
Even the normal man knows, at some level, that all of this is meaningless and empty. Some even respond to this condition by having a nervous breakdown. The cure, however, is fascinating: few psychologists or psychiatrists would propose that the patient climb Mt. Everest, sail across an ocean, quit his job, divorce his wife or abandon his children.
Instead almost all of them will provide the drug-of-the-moment and help the poor schnook return to the very routines which drove him mad to begin with.
Understanding this is an incredibly powerful opportunity for the advanced Toxick Magician. (70)

Every human is a heap of convictions which he uses to assure himself that he exists as a "real" "individual." In fact, this heap of convictions is the entire content of this bag of flesh called the common man, particularly when it is in the presence of others. He babbles on, spouting a fetid, green slime of nonsense syllables which constitute all that he "thinks" and "values" about what should be and what shouldn't be. (71)

Before performing this activity, however, first take dancing lessons. Dancing through the mind of a person is very similar to dancing with your feet. If you can't take lessons, go to places where people dance and learn to watch them.
Also learn to watch people while they are drunk. In fact it is a good idea to get drunk yourself at least once a month. This will give you the opportunity to see how much you are improving in self-control. (74)

Since most people have been in a chronic state of hypnotic trance since childhood, it takes very little to keep them asleep. Thus, it is ideal to promise miracles which are associated with stimuli which remind them to forget the promise when the miracle fails to appear in the form expected. (84)

It is easy to be a miracle worker. Just allow the obvious to happen. Since most people are in an hypnotic trance, if you can just see 10% of the obvious you are a miracle worker. If you can see 25%, you are a God. (84)

I met one man who was so fearful of losing what he had gained, that he simply lost it and immediately felt better. (87)

One of the main themes of childhood is the gaining of information. This is called "learning" and adults do a fine job of making children stupid by their methods of indoctrination. (92)

He knows that the criminalization of human behavior serves one primary purpose: the destruction of the system which defines crime. The more criminals, the more resources necessary to control crime and criminals. The more resources required, the more economic disruption and thus the more criminals required to fill the gaps in the system. (94)

Slavery as we knew it before, for example, the Civil War in the U.S., was a bad thing. It made us aware of something best forgotten—universal, hierarchical slavery.
When overt slavery ended, we lost our example of what slavery was really all about. Slavery slipped back into our unconscious.
All good Practitioners know how to manipulate the common man's desire to be a slave while maintaining the illusion of being a free person. It is better for the common man to think that he is free as he is held in the arms of his caretaker.
Democracy is the best political system of slavery ever invented. In a democracy, the slaves believe that they are "free" and have a "voice" in their affairs. Thus, they are willing slaves and, as such, the possibility of a revolt is much less than in an overt system of slavery. (95)

One thing we know—very well—is that most humans have been hired on as extras. They are needed for this scene or that, for a few moments here and there, and then they are gone. In fact, they are not even forgotten—because to be forgotten you first have to be remembered.
Most people are extras who somehow have become deluded into thinking they are stars—albeit burnt-out ones.
A few people are not extras on the stage but are stunt men, hired to play dangerous roles for the real star. But even stunt men are rare. (98)

It's funny to walk into a bank or a grocery store and watch the tellers and clerks. A good Toxick Magician knows how to watch them and manipulate them. He knows that they feel that they have a little power—and they do—but they are taught not to abuse it, because it is a sign of bad taste.
Just watch them drool as they count out the money or say "no" to someone. Then watch them hang their little heads as they gaze blankly at their paychecks. (98)

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