Our New Penpal,

The Next Pope (We Hope):

Godfried Danneels!

On the 23rd of May, the following letter was sent to Pope Hopeful, Archbishop of
Brussels and namesake of one of our valued DeuceOfClubs.com conspirators:

Q: Would you answer a half-witted letter like this, if you were the Cardinal of Brussels?

A: If you wanted to be the next Pope, you would.

Apparently, Kardinaal Godfried Danneels does want to be the next Pope;
the proof arrived in the Deuce of Clubs mailbox on 09 June1997:

We will treasure this signature of Cardinal Godfried Danneels notwithstanding that it's inscribed to no one in particular -- for example, me. Pope Hopefuls got lots to do, we guess.

(At least, we don't think it's inscribed ... to tell you the truth, we can't read a word of it.)

Kardinaal Danneels not only sent an autographed photo--he granted us an Umlaut! Yep, it's true: we can now say that we employ a member of The Order of the Holy Umlaut of Brussels! (Don't laugh--it beats the Order of the Garter.)

A note to Catholics:

Fear not: Being the humble and well-mannered persons that we are, we would never idly flaunt The Holy Umlaut of Brussels. We may, however, carry it around the block in procession a few times. So if you should happen to see anyone walking the streets of Tempe, joyfully and triumphantly holding a framed and garlanded object overhead, be sure to wave. And honk if you love Kardinaal Godfried!